Happy New Year!!

Happy new year to everyone!!

the year 2004 have been a long but exciting year for me.

This year, I started working, learning and making mistakes, all along experiencing things that life offers for me. Life throws a wake up call at me.

I learnt sum things about myself.. abt the working world, what life is all about. That's all. I wanna say.

Good year to you, my dear reader, may your dreams and aspirations come true..

changed again..

I seriously don't know what andwhere went wrong with the layout. Been changing the blog layout, tampering and modifying with the dimensions. until it all screws up and I gave up.

Went to Blogskins to find another layout.. Modified the changes here and there, asked Gary for te codes. he did help. but couldn't talk to him much. (since he's busy watching tv) :p

but now, I'm happy with it. now, haf to solve the problem of avoiding irritating popups so as to speak. >.<

just wanna know: how do you know the codes of the colours like FFFFFF means white or black? other codes for other colours?

what about putting the links of achives of the monthy blogs?

and does any1 have any blinking idea on how to put tagboards?

ppl wiser than me, please enlighten me. I wanna know.

THat's it.

going to KL...

Yahoo!! Ah.. finally, an hour before I go to KL!!

Today is Christmas Eve.. today, I admit that we are not in the mood to work, since all of us were in a holiday mood. :p I spent the day doing some work, but it takes time. I decided to postpone it to Monday.

oh uh... I think that I'm going to be in a bit of trouble. :x I wonder how is Mr Ilan going to react.. hopefully can forgive me.. But all of us spent the morning eating logcake, chocolates and also Canadian pizza. (Yum!!)

Our vice-chairman, Mr Kenneth Liang, called us and asked us about the annual Christmas party
. But unfortunately, i believe that all the other Exco Members were busy doing their own shopping and celebrating on their own. But he made the effort to drop by and also bought us some chocolates and a bottle of champaigne as well. (I drank water.)

We rushed out of the office and headed to the reception desk outside, where Mani had placed the Logcake. Annie cut the logcake and my boss, Mr Soh, opened the champaigne. We spent the day eating cakes and telling Mr Ling about the e-card. Yesterday, Mr Liang called the office up and instructed Mani to create a e-card for him to send to all his potential clients and friends. Mani then asked Bertille and me to help her. Bertille had the ball rolling by using the used cards and cutting the decorations from the card. Then I scanned it and tried to edit it by using Paint. Unfortunately, we don't have the Acrobat Reader. To cut a long story short, we improvised ways to get things done, relying on our creativity. But funny things happened along the way and the three of us laughed our heads off. Bertille had this habit of being unable to sleep after long hours of laughter.

and it happened again last night.. :B

After the lunch, Annie and me headed to the restroom, where Bertille caught up with us. We spent the rest of the day relaxing, milling the hours away. when the clock struck 1, we quickly ran out of the office.

When I strode out of the gate, I was surprised to see my RSP friends standing outside. Little did I know that they planned to go shopping later, waiting for another friend of theirs to shop for the event held on 7 January.. Sabrina invited me along, but I told her that I'll be going to Malaysia today. Haix.. my RSp friends.. I missed them a lot.. I hugged Sabrina back when she spotted me and so did Asryna..

I felt as if a burden is lifted off me during those moments.. I felt a healing that goes on within me whenever I'm with friends, especially the ones whom I loved dearly, the RSp ppl, my gang, my clasmates.. especially Rebecca. how I wished that time could be turned back again.. and we could all enjoy ourselves again. oh well..

But I am grateful for this surprise meeting. I know God knows my feelings inside.. He knows my anger, my sadness, my loneliness. My frustrations, my worries, and my fear. and I feel blessed because of that knowledge..

I thank God for that...

see you later, adios!!

woah..

have you ever experienced a feeling or a nagging thought in your head that refuses to fade or go away? You know, your instincts tell you 24/7 that what you're doing is wrong and should end it immediately. but not only that, your friends or your family members do things that make you sick, even though they are well-intentioned? or is it the first time you are going through this and without the support of some friends, family members and other ppl whom you hold in high regard?

the worst thing, you know that they're right, but you can't make yourself do it. Instead, you try to seriously consider their suggestions, but end up crying in the dark, in silence. I might be axxeggerating, cry endlessly, wondering when the tears will stop.

you have changed into a different person, a different side of yourself that you never really explored, the the anger in yourself which you can't really control. and that feeling is accompanied with a slight fear that things can go wrong.


and that inevitable event is totally against your principles.

I have asked many people this qn: what wld you do if you're in my shoes?

and their answer is the same.

My colleague asked me this straight in the face; What do you want from this?
But I have no answer for that..

a week before the Hari Raya..

here I am, writing this entry on saturday night,where my radio is blasting a Hari raya song right now. I am feeling happy and also excited for the first time in my life. The excitement bubbling inside me, sang along in tune with the lively rythem of the song. and the ironic thing is, my family haven't even prepared the festive cookies and bought themselves some new year clothes. funny... but we will tackle the problems one thing at a time. all of them are threatening to overwhelming me and the rest. however, we can only focus on solving the problems one thing at a time. just what I did last friday night. I stayed there late till eight pm to set up Mr Soh's computer and since we could not get into the administrator's account, the only and the last resort is to reformat the whole system. fortunately, my boss, Mr Soh, did not work on the computer and there is little data inside it. we managed to install the microsoft office and also the internet connection. the whole incident left me feeling glad and happy for the first time. so now we had to tackle the problem of tranferring the data form Mr Soh's laptop into the new computer. and since Mr Soh's laptop will be reformatted again and all Mani's data will be transferred to his laptop. and the one that Mani's using will be deemed as obsolete. or " Beyond redemption" as Grace called it. I agree with her.

finally, the day I had been waiting for arrived..

there was a time when I had a dream. A strange dream. it happened when I slept gain after eating before fasting time and it was on Sunday morning. it gripped me in a vice-like hold throughout the dream. All I can remember is or was - my sole aim is to rescue my sis no matter what the cost. As you know, Iam very close to my sis and love her with all my heart. sometimes, I missed her badly. so you can imagine the protective feeling towards her during the dream.
I dreamt that some thugs were chasing me, my sis and a friend ( who happens to be my religious classmate) and they tried their best to capture my sister. Needless to say, we also got involved with the police and were wanted too. I remember the last bit of it - we're standing around a window with the wooden blind, staring grimly at the scene below. there were hordes of police cars, and we knew that we were on the run, from the police, the thugs. we some sort devised a plan along the way, and lo and behold, we bumped into some thugs on the way out.
Got involved into a very serious fight and I yelled at my friend to take care of my sis. she went off, and I was left fighting with the bad guys. I remember the three of us sliding down an endlessly long staircase on something ( a wheelchair?) located just before our goal, the exit door. We attracted crowds and a few of them jumped out of the way. we weaved through the police cars and whizzed past the stunned policemen. they reacted a few minutes too late.
then the three of us raced towards the 3 bicycles located conveniently somewhere and we biked towards a road in Bukit Batok Area. I was at the front, and my friend lagged behind. I yelled at her and sis to catch up with me, but she went across the road and disappeared into a jungle. I biked for some more before my sis called me to follow her, I turned around, and saw the answer to our escape. my friend was in a red sports car, trying to reverse. I crossed the road carefully, acutely aware that the police can catch up anytime with us. I dropped the bicycle and ran towards the car. once the door shut closed, the feeling of tension slowly faded away. the moment it reversed and was going on the way, I felt a sense of relief.

then UI woke up.

happy..

resting from the memories of the events that happened today..

today is the day where I went back to the ITE Clementi for my ITE cert.. it's long over due. like 3 months already? yeah.. spotted and bumped into some of my old friends where I welcomed them with open arms.. haix.. it's been a long time since I chatted with them. bumped into Halman, Razmy, aum of the Tae Kwon do friends, some of the student councillors like Molly, Tom, Hajjar, Intan.. just to mention a few.

I walked into the school with a mixture of feelings, happy, excited, wondering what's their reaction is gonna be. I was dressed simple, with a white polo tee, jeans, blue slippers. and followed with makeup, and my carefully styled hair beginning to get messy from all the frantic comb throughs with my fingers and in the end, getting it frizzy. >.<

when I walked into the foyer, the first person that I spotted from afar is Shidah. I wanted to call out to her, but she seemed to be too far away from me and she walked away. darned it.. lost the chance...

I already attained my cert when I strolled into the canteen area.. bumped into sum1 I know, but I forgot her name.. we chatted to the locker where I met Molly.. she was still the same person whom I know.. and I gatecrashed into their class later, but sad to know that David Lee wasn't around at that time... needless to say, I went off first to survey other ppl. Headed to the staff office, and browsed through the office. then I got out and went down to the second storey.. and was talking to Hajjar at that time. I spotted her figure walking towards the restroom and replied, hey, I was just behind you. and you know what? her reaction is totally classic. just the kind where I really adore the most. she paused, turned around, and literally screamed in happiness. I was laughing all the way when she headed towards me with that brilliant smile of hers. we headed towards Lab 2.. for their class. was again invited to gatecrash the class, but I decided to stay outside. Spotted Intan coming, so I asked Hajjar to cover me in cheekyness. lol. she was surprised to see me. chatted for a while, and was kinda sad a bit when she told me that bad news.. oh well.. what to do. I can only pray for Intan..
noticed Tom glancing at me, so I asked Hajjar to come over. and finally! he recognised me. was munching something and did his signature style of greeting. asked the usual things. he told me that I changed totally. Changed my hairstyle, my dressing, everything. but there is only one thing that I never change, that is my specs. loved my specs too much. went to the Atrium with Hajjar later to meet Priscilla. saw her setting up some equipment for her performance later. I say man, her voice is darned good. good enough to go for the Singapore Idol.. set off to find my good sister, Diana. as i went on, I waved to her, but she didn't recognise me. she had an inkling that the person waving to her is me, but she couldn't dare to wave back. it is only during walking distance will she get up from her seat and we both ran to each other. we hugged, and her voice reminded me of the old times where we snuck out of school and talked non stop to each other to Central. we then talked about our problems. she replied something that really made me feel sad. " sigh... how come all the good times have to come to an end?"
but I told her, " all good times will come to an end. it's part and parcel of life." she agreed. my stomach grumbled. she accompanied me to the canteen, and I surveyed the food before buying. we bumped into an old friend of mine, Razmy. we exchanged numbers after talking for a while. Diana had to go off for her class, so I ate my lunch with Caiqi, Lewis and their classmates. later, as I went to the shop, I spotted faisal and Kelvin walking together to the hall. I shouted after them, and Kelvin turned around, his face expression kinda disturbed... He kept smiling with his mouth closed. Long time since I talked to him. exchanged greetings, and but he just kept smiling. I turned to chat with Faisal instead. well, he's more responsive than Kelvin.. ;x walked around aimlessly for a while, and the clock finally struck twelve. Time for me to go home.. and get ready for the next big event. the Interview..

that, I will talk about it sometime later...

adios!!